It is impossible to avoid confrontations , although you make impressive efforts to prevent it. They can occur among family members, friends, study or work colleagues, partners and clients.
There is no doubt that these situations can be overwhelming, especially when there are feelings involved such as bitterness or anger. In these cases the essential thing is to maintain tranquility .
This way we can face and deal with conflict and confrontation, and calm down a situation that is stressful.
1. Search until you find ways to calm things down
Weigh in a mature way the conflictive situation. In general, confrontations are due to abrupt exchanges of words.
In some situations violent outbursts may occur. In such cases, it is smarter to retire and evaluate the situation carefully , since safety and physical integrity are involved.
Evaluate if you can maintain a discussion safely or not. The same you must proceed with caution but, if you can not, get away. If you do not feel comfortable, it is best to retire as soon as possible.
Asking for help, far from showing cowardice, is a smart decision , especially if you are looking for a person’s guide ripe and neutral, that can serve you well as a moderator or, simply, to comfort you.
Be the mature person and, if you notice that your integrity or that of third parties is at risk, it is best to go to the authorities.
2. Your attitude influences your aggressor
Sometimes, by staying calm, you can reassuringly influence the other person. This is achieved when you handle the situation in a mature way without letting the emotions influence.
- He body language Plays an important role . You must be neutral and gentle. Avoid looking away and desperately crossing arms.
These positions indicate lack of respect and transmit a frustration, which does not help at all in a conflictive situation.
- No matter how you feel, you must be calm and respectful at all times. Deal warmly, but avoid sarcastic tones .
There is nothing wrong with this if you apologize, even if you consider that you are not responsible for the situation. Practice empathy and try to sympathize with the other party.
If what you want is calm the spirits , you can not scold or send. That is the result, in large part of how you deal with the situation.
If you remain calm, pleasant and peaceful, you will have done everything possible to smooth the rough edges.
3. Concentrate a few minutes on listening
Keep in mind what the other person has to say to lessen their frustration of not being heard. You will avoid the consequents feelings of helplessness that can lead her to be burdened with resentment , which can generate violence.
When you listen to it, maybe calm down and you can find out what the source of the conflict is. In this way she will manifest what anguishes her, and this is the key to calm the situation, because you will find the solution together.
- For this you must have patience and direct the person with questions that help you reveal your perspective on the problem .
- You may reveal your feelings about it, the possible worrisome thoughts, and what you hope for in solving the problem.
- If you have the opportunity to start taking note of your needs, do it, not only to avoid later conflicts, but to see that you take it seriously.
Find the root of the problem and try to determine in a clear way the solution to the conflict, so that they are not pending.
4. Strive to avoid getting emotionally involved
Listen out without reacting even if the other person is upset with you, and even if he is not with you, avoid taking a side or jumping to conclusions.
Do not take anything that an upset person says as a personal offense. She is letting herself be carried away as a puppet of her emotions, and it is more likely that she is not serious. The defensive attitude and anger will only bring more problems .
Think of every word you say, study them very well, and mentally measure the consequences of what you say before speaking.
Ask yourself things like: How would you react if I say …? and not how you would react, but the other person. Remember that it’s about striving to understand your point of view .
Breathe, talk sensibly, show maturity and do not look for guilt, but solutions.